Gettin’ Sexy Without Going All the Way
Most of the time we have no problem getting it on with our significant other. But once in a while there may be something preventing you from doing the deed. Maybe you’re hugely pregnant or post-partum. Maybe you’re injured. Perhaps Aunt Flo’s in town or there’s just no birth control on hand. It can be tempting to just roll over and go to sleep, but according to sex expert, Jaiya, author of Red Hot Touchand founder of New World Sex Education–staying sexually close, even when you can’t go all the way–is important.
Related: Why So Many Of Us Don’t Want Sex
“A week can become a month, a month becomes a year, a year becomes a decade…it happens. Staying close sexually helps you build a deeper bond. When you stop touching you stop getting the hormone Oxytocin which helps you bond and feel happier,” she explains. “We have to expand our definition of sexual activity. There is so much that you can do to stay connected.”
In fact, even if you can have sex, she still suggests you consider expanding your sexual repertoire and mixing things up a little every once in a while.
“The recipe for hot intimacy is mystery plus obstacle,” she says. “Give your partner a little mystery by not knowing what to expect from you, and a little obstacle by creating healthy, fun boundaries. For example, try giving him an erotic massage, or what about oral pleasure with your underwear on? Many couples get into a pattern when it comes to their sexual lives. They get too emotionally intimate and close and ultimately it smothers the fire!”
Related: Top Sex Drive Killers
Here are some of Jaiya’s ideas to get started with some sex-free sex!
- Oral Lovemaking
- Erotic Genital Massage
- Making Out In Your Underwear
- Sensual Bathing/Sensual Shower
- Tie Your Partner Up and Tease Them With A Variety of Sensations
Of course, if you’ve been missionary style for years, it might be a bit daunting to bring up trying something new. So how do you let your partner know you’re interested in mixing things up?
“Remember how hot it was when you were just getting know each other and you had make-out sessions, oral sessions, erotic massage?” Jaiya asks. “Entice you partner with the alternatives, most men won’t turn down fellatio! You could also introduce a little role playing in the situation…play hard to get, play with intentionally created obstacles. ‘I get to ravish you in my way…but I keep my pants on!'”
So the next time you find yourself unable to go all the way–or just want to get creative–remember you can have just as much fun at second and third base as you can sliding into home.