The Benefits of Having A Lot of Female Friends
- by Rich Santos, Marie Claire, on Mon Oct 3, 2011 8:58am PDT
Throughout my life, I’ve learned the importance and value of female advice and input for a few reasons:
- I grew up with sisters
- I went to a co-ed school
Whenever I make a move during the early stages of a relationship, my faithful, female “editors” are right there to help me out…and remind me of how clueless I am. Relying on other guys is just not as useful. They are either too aggressive (“yeah dude go for it — she wants it”), or they prove to be just as clueless as I am.
How have my “editors” helped me through the years? Here are just a few examples:
I don’t trust myself to shop alone. Women tend to put more time and effort into their clothing, but us guys will wear whatever it takes to get attention from the ladies.
My female shopping assistants help me figure out if I can pull off a look, or they pick out things they’d like on guys. They are also there to ask the inevitable question: “Are you really going to wear that?”
Every time I write an email or questionable text, I have an “editor” take a look at it. Sadly, I usually get the following edits:
- “Oh my god, you have to get rid of half of this, she’ll never read something this long.”
- “You said the same thing five times.”
- “You have to look more casual.”
This is an important part of the process. I’m amazed at how many crazy emails the girls I know get from guys who clearly didn’t ask a female friend for advice before pressing ‘send.’
The wrong gift sends the wrong message; there’s no telling how women will react to certain things. The classic examples are: clothes that are the wrong size (my “editors” are always there to help me guess sizes), or stuff that makes it look like I expect her to cook and clean.
Despite knowing this, I still make the occasional slip up. For example, I definitely should have checked with a female someone before I put a gift for my sister into a Lane Bryant box I found sitting around. Oh well.
Sometimes, there’s confusing stuff that I would just never think of. For example, a girl friend might fix one my emails with the following rationale:
“You can’t write this sentence because so and so got voted off American Idol last night and it’s going to rain this afternoon and that’s just going to make her upset and she might take it the wrong way.”
I have learned through female friends, that there are many things I say that might upset a girl. I could be talking about something random like Mount Rushmore and she’ll think I’m calling her fat.
This is perhaps the most important reason I seek counsel from the women I’m close with — these nuances govern everything.
Do you agree with my “editor” approach? What do you think guys need female friends for?