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Don’t fake it if you wanna make it

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes…the dry spell. Once you tie the knot, these common bedroom occurrences (good and bad!) are the new normal.

A no embarrassment zone

Gas, not-so-recently trimmed nether regions, or the worst offender, quifes, are ultra-embarrassing bedroom blunders that make most women shudder. The bad news? You’re bound to experience these mishaps over time. But wheres pre-marriage, a bubbly belly might send you rethinking any opportunity of a second date, you’re now more likely to laugh at these mortifying moments. Even if you’ve been together for ages, these kinds of mishaps can cause major humiliation in a long-term relationship, so when these moments happen to you, do just that: laugh, brush it off, and know that sex trumps embarrassing bodily functions any day.

Obligatory baby-making sex

The first few months of trying to get pregnant are fun — sex is a priority and there is plenty of it. But, it can start to feel like a chore when you’re doing the deed for one very special reason. For Everett Simms*, 32, of New Orleans, LA, after a few months of baby-making, sex became more of an obligation and much less hot and bothered. Now trying for number two, she says, “With the second one, it is way more business because we have to fit it in before our toddler wakes up, while she is napping, or after she goes to bed. One time we put her in her high chair, gave her a snack and put on her favorite show so we could have day-sex. Spontaneity is all but erased from the conception vocabulary.” But baby-making sex can be fun — it’s important to remember that sex is not only about baby, but the two of you. Enjoy the act and stop focusing on the outcome.

The reward for baby-making sex? Pregnant sex!

It’s true that baby-making sex can be a major downer — especially if it takes time to get pregnant. But for those who do, there’s a reward just around the bend: pregnant sex! Women’s hormones and sensitivity to touch increase during this time, which makes for extra enjoyable, revved-up romps. “Pregnant sex was awesome after my husband got over his paranoia about hurting the baby,” says Simms. “My second trimester was definitely the best — I had lusty dreams nearly every night and remembered every detail. Our sex life definitely benefited from this.”

50 Shades of Grey style experimenting

If a man asked a woman if she’d like to be handcuffed or spanked the first time he slept with her, it probably wouldn’t score him any points — or lead to scoring at all. But once you’re married, experimentation is often a part of steamy sex. Bravery in the bedroom comes with trust, and that’s something you earn from your spouse as the two of you rack up notches on the bedpost. Trying new positions, toys, or games in the sack is a completely healthy way to keep the spark alive.

Make-up sex

It’s no secret that marriage takes work, hard work. Even the most happily married couples have had their ups and downs. But, healthy fighting is natural — and pretty unavoidable — in marriage, and with every blow-out comes the make-up. Fleming says that the perk of getting through a fight is reaffirming your commitment to one another. “There’s a dark side, however,” she cautions. “If you get into a cycle of using the charge of the fight to get the momentum going in the bedroom, you could become dependent on that cycle and fight more than you should.”

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