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Stage 1: Honeymoon
Usually the first year or two (or three, depending on the arrival of children as well as whether you lived together beforehand) is a passion-fueled period that’s all about the two of you and your intense focus on the attraction that made you want to walk down the aisle to begin with.
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The Challenge
As much as this stage is full of lovely things like lust, affection and late-night romps, you’d be wise to also use this time to cement your sense of coupledom outside the bedroom. Who are you, as a couple? Spend time figuring out how you envision the rest of your marriage.
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Stage 2: Settling In
This encompasses what DeMaria calls the realization stage, during which you learn things you might not have known (or happily ignored) about your spouse’s strengths, weaknesses and personal habits. Also in this post-honeymoon, pre-children stage, power struggles can arise as the two of you work toward both separate and shared goals.
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The Challenge
As the shine fades a bit and reality sets in, you need to safely navigate what can be the first divorce danger zone of a young marriage, says Beverly Hyman, Ph.D., coauthor of How to Know If It’s Time to Go: A 10-Step Reality Test for Your Marriage. “After a couple of years, too many couples find that their values and goals aren’t always on the same page.” Read More
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