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The fact of the matter is, while we all know our men appreciate the looks and various talents of other women, we don’t necessarily want to be hit over the head with it. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and more now mean that without intentionally snooping, we can see—or assume—what our S.O. finds attractive. Yet whether he’s “liking” a photo or retweeting a catchy quote, we can’t know for a fact that he’s up to anything other than being friendly.

It also presents an interesting catch-22 for many women. After all, we can regularly “like” a male friend’s photos, knowing quite well we’re appreciating his fashion sense and not his bulging pectoral muscles. But when our boyfriend likes another woman’s Instagram photos, it’s like, “Why exactly are you all over this [NSFW word]’s profile? Huh?!”

Honestly, I think in most cases, we—myself included—are way more likely to read more into a “like,” retweet or follow than is actually there. But if you find these kind of social media stunts get under your skin, it’s best to have an open conversation with your S.O. about how his actions make you feel. (Don’t start stalking the hottie, or tossing out accusations of online affairs.) But perhaps there’s something deeper going on that you can uncover through the conversation.

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