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I was in complete denial that my world was in total chaos. I was promoted to my first management position and was stressed out! By January 2014 I had officially hit rock bottom with my weight and wanted to disappear even though the thought of dying terrified me.
I completely ignored that eerie, dark feeling that followed me, as well as some major warning signs. My chest was tight, fingers tingled and my arm would constantly go numb.
Instead, I became a closet eater. If people couldn’t see me eat then they couldn’t possibly notice I’m gaining weight! As long as I received compliments on my hair, makeup, etc. then my diminishing waist line was going unnoticed.
I played that mind game for so long that I convinced myself that I didn’t even have a weight problem! Despite being a former athlete I was over 300 pounds.
Toward the end of February I remember looking in the mirror and it was as if I was looking at myself for the first time. I remember saying out loud, “Catrice, you are fat and going to die” and then I cried because it hurt to hear my own voice say what I already knew.
For the first time I was being honest with myself about my weight.
I’ve lost weight in the past doing fad diets but this time I needed to do something completely different. I needed professional help. This time I promised myself this would be a lifestyle change and I would only rely on heart and guts.
I was going to make myself uncomfortable – no gym buddy and no classes. I wanted personal training to make myself accountable.
I was completely broken when I reached out to a well-known trainer in my area. I prayed that God would give him the patience to deal with me and through this process I would love myself again. I was ready to own my faults and commit to fixing them.
Before my consultation I told myself I would never question his expertise, his weight goals for me, his food plan and I was not going to quit! Within the first six months I lost 100 lbs!
Today my world consists of food prepping, clean eating and a lot of training. As of January 2015, I’m down 154 lbs and still working to hit my goal.
This is a lifestyle change so I don’t look at tomorrow or yesterday, I only focus on today. My story is still being written and I thank God for everything I‘ve endured on this journey. I believe that things happen all in His timing.
Once you #OWNIT, you can #CHANGEIT.
Much love and Blessings! ~ Catrice