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Don’t Get Too “EX-cited”…Your Ex is Your Ex for a Reason


By Sarah Daly, BounceBack Expert


Dating after heartbreak can seem scary – especially when you haven’t met anyone new, or feel like there’s nobody out there. So what do you do when an ex-flame comes back into the picture? It may appear to be the easiest way to find love again; you already know each other well, so why not pick up where you left off? This is why: Your “ex” is an “ex” for a reason. 


At first glance, re-igniting an old flame looks both comforting and exciting. So why not go for it? First of all, people can change. You simply can’t assume that this person (or yourself for that matter!) is the same person you knew before. Second, when people first enter a relationship, they are on their best behavior. It’s what we naturally do. And when this happens, it’s quite easy to only remember the good times you shared.


An article from states: “Many of us pine after old loves. In fact, some 62 percent of us would consider getting back together with a former flame. When viewed through nostalgic lens, the things that went wrong seem insignificant. Yet letting emotions like nostalgia take over can force you to relive past pain.”


Sooner or later, as that honeymoon period wanes, the same reasons you split apart before will come to the surface. Maybe it was bad communication patterns? Or annoying behaviors? Perhaps bad character traits? Whatever the case, you did not continue with this person for a reason. Honor yourself and that past lesson, and save your heart for a better fit.


Coming to terms with the fact that your old relationship is done – for good – can save you from another painful breakup. It can be extremely difficult to stay away from someone you once loved. Think of it this way: keeping your distance can only get you closer to a real, lasting love.


Sarah Daly is founder of Flair Design, a home and event design business based in RI. Her design philosophy is that any space, on any budget, can be transformed to promote physical and mental well-being. Sarah’s combination of learning from the Rhode Island School of Design, and 13 years of design experience, afford her creative vision with practical solutions in home re-design, staging, and everyday entertaining.

BounceBack is changing the way people cope with heartbreak as a result of a breakup or divorce. BounceBack is a place to tell your story, get advice from experts, and share what you’ve learned with others in similar situations. We’re here to remove the negative stigma around being heartbroken – this happens to everyone. And we believe everyone has the potential to bounce back to life and move forward.


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More from BounceBack:

Obsessing Over a Breakup? STOP! Here’s How…

On a Post-It? Really? The 10 Worst Ways to Break Up With Someone

7 Ways to Reinvent Yourself 

The 10 BEST Ways to Break Up With Someone


Is Your Friend Dating Your Ex? 3 Ways to Handle Yourself with Grace and Style5 Common Dating Mistakes You Don’t Know You’re Making

Starting Fresh: 6 Tips to Get Over The Past and Find Love Again

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