“He’s My Man, But His Behavior Says Otherwise”
You’ve got questions? He’s got answers! Need advice?
Send your questions to Terrance: firstname.lastname@example.org
Dear Gay Best Friend,
My boyfriend keeps checking up on his ex-wife’s e-mail as well as doing little web searches on her. Should I question him or leave it alone? What should I do? We have been together a year and some months. He is a nice man and is good to me and my kids. I just don’t know what to do. – Not Sure
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I have a man and we’ve been together for a few months. He’s a sweet guy. When we go out he says, “Wow, you look nice.” You know, things like that. And, the sex is amazing. He handles his business from top to bottom every time.
He coaches little league and plays softball every Sunday. He wants me there so I go and support my man. We do lots of things together movies, dinner, and basketball games. We recently went to The Essence Music Festival.
The problem is I’ve never been to his house. I don’t know where he lives. He leaves my house every night between 1am and 3am. He says he has to be at work at 5am and his job is very important to him.
I like to spoil everybody around me, including my man. So, I do a lot of thoughtful things like buying him expensive cologne and cards, simply because. He knows I love flowers and he has been saying he’s going to send me some. However, for weeks, I still have not gotten any flowers. Gay Best Friend what’s the deal on this guy? – In The Dark
Dear Not Sure and In The Dark,
Your man IS NOT your man! Plain and simple.
Y’all gon’ have me drunk off cocktails (no pun intended) before Happy Hour begins. I definitely need a drink, and so do the both of you.
I really think the glue from your weaves has sunk in your heads and made you delirious. Or, your braids are too tight and you can’t think properly. Your skulls are snatched too far from your brains.
Now, Ms. Not Sure, your boyfriend is checking his ex-wife’s e-mail and doing web searches on her. Is he the po-po? Is he Detective Go Get Her? Why is he checking up on his EX-WIFE? They are divorced. They are no longer together. There should be no reason he should be invading her privacy. WTF! Boo Boo, your man is a stalker. If he is stalking his ex-wife, just imagine what he’s doing to you without your knowledge. This fool is paranoid, or something got him still stuck on his ex-wife. You know what, he is stuck on stupid.
That buster needs to be kicked to the curb. Why are you sitting by and not saying anything to him? Why haven’t you confronted him? You better step to him and find out what’s going on.
But, I will tell you this, he is not over her. If he is going through all that trouble to find out what she’s doing and with whom, where, and why, then your man has issues. He’s still in love with her. His behavior shows signs of someone who is possessive and immature. He clearly doesn’t need to be in another relationship, and as I think about it, you may be the rebound woman. You are someone to pass the time with. I say leave him alone and move on. I know you are not that desperate and hard-up for a man. Come on, DIVA! Leave that fool before you find out he has put some wiretaps on you!
Now, Ms. In The Dark. Girl, come on now! That man got you sitting completely in the dark. How the hell are you going to be in a relationship with a man and you don’t know where he lives, never been to his house, and he breaks out from your house every night between 1am and 3am? Are you serious, Ms. Thing!?!
Here are a couple of things about your man: A.) He has another woman and you’re the chick on the side. B.) He’s married. C.) You’re his main chick and he has another woman on the side.
Clearly you’re willing to be strung alone and play this little game with this professional gamer. Brother man has you so strung out on the, as you say, “The amazing sex. He handles his business from top to bottom every time.” So, because he makes you feel good you’re going to overlook the bright red blaring lights screaming, “YOUR MAN IS NOT YOUR MAN!” Girl, ain’t no sex that good that it makes you go completely blind.
Think about it, because I’m going to repeat it again, you never been to his house and you don’t know where he lives. (Silence. Crickets.) If only you could see me giving you the side eye!!
Clearly, you must have, “Use me I won’t ask questions because I desperately want a man,” written on your forehead. What woman will be in a relationship with man and not at least know where he lives, hell, even seen his house.
And, why are you buying him gifts? Are you trying to buy him? Yes, your gestures may be cute, and thoughtful, but this man clearly has no regard or real desire for you. He sells you dreams, clearly pipe dreams. He told you that he is going to buy you flowers, yet, he has not invested a single dime on you. And, Ms. Honey, he can stop at the corner store, gas station, or grocery store and get a rose for less than five dollars. And, I bet you paid for the trip to the Essence Music Festival, or at least the majority of it.
You need to tell your “man” that you need his address, a visit to his house, where he works, the address and phone number to his office, a visit to his office, and a real explanation as to why he is breaking out between 1am and 3am. Wait a minute, if he has to be at work at 5am, how far is his job if he is leaving between 1am and 3am? Girl, you need a reality check, and in the infamous words of Sheree’ of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, “Who gon’ check me boo?” I am! You need to check yourself because dude has clearly wreaked yourself! – Straight, From Your Gay Best Friend