How to Catfish Yourself???
By Elise Solé, Shine Staff
Recently the term catfish has become a media catchphrase (Hi Manti T’eo!) used in stories to warn people about getting romantically bamboozled by a total stranger. No, no. You don’t want to get catfished—or do you? Well, that depends. Sometimes, a healthy dose of catfishing can improve your love life, that is, if you’re the one pulling the puppet strings. Let’s say for example, you’ve been dumped. Whether you want your boyfriend back or wish to drive him crazy with jealousy, catfishing yourself may be for you. Want to try it? Follow these steps to creating an online profile for your fake boyfriend:
Befriend, befriend, befriend: Remember, this is an investment, of both your emotions and your time. So while it’s tempting to already be “seeing someone” the day after the breakup, this breed of revenge needs time to marinate. In order to make your profile look realistic, your new boyfriend has to have friends. And not just a few, but at least 100. So befriend everyone you know as well as everyone they know. Plus, don’t be afraid to send random strangers friend requests. The more the merrier!
Post sweet nothings: Once your profile is completed, you’re ready to message yourself. The key here is subtlety. Instead of updating your relationship status (too obvious), evoke a little mystery by writing strategic messages on your wall. Examples: “It was great seeing you this weekend”, “What are you up to later?” and “Pretty picture!” These sentiments are benign enough to not give you away completely but attentive enough to raise suspicion. Also: Cool it with the “Likes” or you’ll come off as stalker-y.
Create the illusion of romance: Of course, what’s a boyfriend without some proof? So he won’t seem like the Snuffleupagus of Facebook, make a point to learn Photoshop to doctor your photos so they reflect a real-life relationship. If you don’t own the program already, try an app like Superimpose. But whatever you do, don’t be this girl.
Stay mum: This can’t be emphasized enough: Do not share your secret with anyone. Not your cube mate at the office, not your sister, and definitely not your friends. While everyone may think it’s momentarily hilarious, you’ll come off as unhinged. Plus, the potential to be outed is far too great.
Pick an end date: The charade can’t go on forever so while you’re catfishing, be mindful of the effect. If you’re stirring interest from your ex, then mission accomplished. If all you’re getting is radio silence, go out and find yourself a real boyfriend.