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Memo to men: stop sending us pictures of your penis, please

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  • Brett Favre and alleged penis photo recipient Jen Sterger. (via CBSNews.com)

    It’s an understandable mistake: When women email nude photos to guys, it’s a turn-on. Naturally guys assume the same thing would work in reverse. It doesn’t.

    Brett Favre may have learned this lesson the hard way if he did send photos of his nubbin’ special to Jets reporter Jen Sterger.  After a barrage of voicemails pleading for her company at his hotel (ew) he pulled out all the stops. Allegedly.  (It hasn’t been confirmed these are the Farvre family jewels, but come on, have a look.)

    We’re told Favre is an unmatched football player, but he may be lacking in the lady-game department. A good strategist understands that thinking like the competition goes a long way. And we don’t think like guys. Sending us a photo of your device is like preparing a dental assistant for oral surgery: “We’ll be inserting this rod into the upper-bicuspid, so make sure you disinfect the area.”

    Favre’s alleged frustrated, futile efforts to win over Sterger were a product of assuming she was a lot like him. Here’s what might have won her over: not inviting her to your hotel room as a first date. At least meet her in the lobby for a drink. Make it dinner and pick up the check and your chance at romance is already spiking my friend. The takeaway: make an effort. Lying in bed and pulling down your boxers to half mast while you flop out your thingamajiggley and click the camera feature on your Blackberry is just about the laziest gift a guy’s ever sent a girl.

    But don’t just blame Brett. Guys have been doing this multi-media trick for years now. Remember Pete Wentz’s big reveal? And if you’ve ever been on an internet dating site, you’ve probably gotten a few messages from a totally reasonable looking guy with an attachment he wants you to click on. Yes, that’s an double entendre.

    If there is a chick who likes a dick pic out there, please comment with a detailed explanation. I don’t want to speak for all women, just 99 percent of them.

    Look Brett et al, how are you guys supposed to know if we don’t tell you? I’m sorry it took so long to say something, but at least now you’ve got the message: emailing a photo of your Wang is a turnoff.  We’d much rather you send a picture of a kitten popping out of a mug. Yes, we are complicated.