First Date Horror Stories: Women Tell All


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    Brace yourselves for what you’re about to read. These stories take the words “bad date” to a whole new level of scary. A first date is awkward enough without the added pressure of dealing with an awful guy. From the classic, cheap guy to one girl’s first and last experience with JDate, the following stories will have you laughing, crying and laughing ’til you cry. Even though I’ve taken the liberty of keeping the identities of those involved under wraps, keep in mind that the following are all true accounts. Make sure you click through to page three for my favorite worst date story of all.

    The Cheap Guy Always Finishes Last:

    I Told the guy I was seeing I liked live music so I guess he tried to be creative and had me meet him at Mercury Lounge on a Wednesday night after work. When I got there, the person at the door told me there was a $15 cover, but I had no cash. I texted the guy I was going to meet because I thought he would have either told me there would be a cover or pay for my cover. So I ended up having to use the ATM with a service charge. Then, when I finally found him, he was already drunk and made me pay for my drinks all night. To top everything off, it was heavy metal night so the music we were listening to was absolutely terrible – just screaming and jumping. I left after 20 minutes. – JP

    Lessons: Loosen up the purse strings buddy! I’m all for equality, but if you invite a girl out and you’re still in the “I’m trying to impress you phase,” then do something impressive and act like you give a damn.

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    Another Penny Pincher:

    Went ice skating with a guy and he made me pay for both of us – rentals, admission, etc. After ordering at the register, he turned to me and said, “Aren’t you going to get this?” In shock, I took out my credit card and paid. In retrospect, if we hadn’t been in an obscure area of Long Island City, I would have walked out. I know we’re living in a modern society where people “go Dutch” all the time, but I’m not ready to completely wear the pants on a first date. During our ice skating session, I sent one kid plummeting to the ground and narrowly avoided running over a herd of other little ones. Dangerous, not romantic. –CL

    Lessons: If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times… cheap guys don’t stand a chance. Even less so if you’re gonna be rude and presumptuous about it. I’m not saying you have to be made of money, but there are lots of ways to plan a good, inexpensive date without splurging.

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    Drunk Driver:

    So I went on a first date with someone who was from my hometown. We had mutual friends, but I didn’t really know him that well. He said he wanted to go to a Japanese restaurant and try their food because he was into trying new foods. When we got there, all he ordered were cucumber rolls because he was Vegetarian. I thought it was a little weird but I ignored it. He then proceeded to order sake AND beer and pound back shots by himself. He then proceeded to ask me if I could drive. He ended up driving though. On the way home, he asked if I wanted to hangout for a little longer, but he suggested going to the city or doing something “crazy.” When I said the city was too far, he asked if it was okay if we hung out with his cousin. So we picked up his cousin, who was even stranger than this guy. He was wearing a du-rag. Then, the guy asked if it was cool if we hung out in his garage (a garage “party” with three people…. so lame). He stopped to pick up some four loko – Meanwhile, I texted my friend to pick me up and get me the hell out of there! When we got to his garage I kindly told him I had to leave and hopped into my friend’s car. –TC

    Lessons: First of all, don’t get in a car with a drunk driver… duh! But this also further proves my point that getting bombed on a first date is never a good idea (especially not on four loko), and it will ruin any chance of a second date. Not to mention, drinking solo is a little weird dude!

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    Halloween Disaster:

    A few weeks after I broke off my engagement, my sister tried setting me up with this guy she worked with. I had met him a few times at the store they both worked at and thought he was cute, so I agreed to going out with him (ignoring the fact that he was a year younger than me). My sister gave him my number and we texted back and forth and made plans for Halloween night, 2009. He said he would be working that night so he would pick me up at 11 PM. That night, 11 came and went. He texted me 20 after 11 to say he was running late because he needed to shower and change (did I mention he works in a CLOTHING store, as a cashier?). He finally shows up around 12:30, and it’s raining by now. He pulls up in a bright blue cadillac with rap music BLASTING, does not come to the door, does not open the car door, and we proceed to make small talk as we head for Buffalo Wild Wings. We sit down and order drinks – when the waiter asks for our IDs, I pull mine out as he pats down his jeans and says “ohhh I left my wallet in the car” – swift guy. He runs out to the car to get his wallet, but I am not amused at his “forgetfulness.”

    Once he returns, we order drinks and continue the small talk of a first date. My sister had explained to him that I was new to the dating scene again, so he uses this as a topic of discussion. He then mentions he broke up with his ex-girlfriend a few weeks ago. I don’t ask details – I just nod politely, listening to him uncomfortably venting about his ex girlfriend. He begins to tell me she “tricked” him into thinking she was pregnant. Although, he goes on, he didnt fall for her trick because they only had sex three times, each time using a condom. By this point, I not only need another drink but a MUCH

    NEEDED change of topic, so I suggest we go somewhere else. I make the mistake of letting him choose the place. He takes me to an AWFUL dive bar. Did I mention it’s Halloween night? We walk into this old shack – it smells like urine and I immediately see someone dressed as Sasquash as we walk in the door. We get drinks (he pays… obviously remembering his wallet this time) and we sit at the back of the bar at a broken table, continuing awful conversation.

    By this time, I have had enough. I tell him I’m tired and we

    leave the bar. We get into his car in this dark parking lot and he doesn’t turn the car on. Instead, he puts his arm around me and asks if I would “just like to hang out here for a while.” I look at him as if he’s not serious and tell him I really have to use the bathroom and need to go home. He suggests I go back into the dive bar to use the bathroom. I then decide I can not continue to beat around the bush and tell him there is no way I will

    use that bathroom. We pull up to my house and I realize he might try to go in for a kiss. As he is pulling up to the curb, without waiting for the car to stop I open the door and begin to step out, thanking him for the night. He texts me about 20 minutes later and says he “had a great time.” This feeling was not mutual and we never went out again. – RB

    Lessons: First of all, Buffalo Wild Wings? Really? Let’s just pretend that part didn’t happen. The most important lesson to take away from this one is it’s never – under any circumstance – ok to talk about your ex on a first date, especially when both you and your ex are cray cray!

    For even more first date fiascoes check out the full scoop here on StyleCaster.