4 things I wish I’d known about dating when I was 20
- By Kyra Lennon – Wed May 4 3:18pm PDT
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What would you tell yourself if you could turn back time? Credit: http://www.morguefile.com/creative/ppdigital, ppdigital
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Dating as a 20-year-old is a lot different than dating as a 27-year-old. The lessons you can learn in those few years about men and about yourself are many. Unfortunately, those lessons are often learned the hard way. If I could hop into a time machine and give my younger self some advice, here are some of the things I would say.
There’s nothing wrong with being single
In my early 20s, all of my friends had boyfriends. I had one too, but I wasn’t entirely happy with him. I felt as if breaking up with him would push me out of the group because I would no longer be part of a couple. Even if I wasn’t pushed out, I would have felt uncomfortable being the only one without a date. Now I know that being single would never have had a negative effect on my friendships and I would actually have been happier on my own than in a relationship that wasn’t right.
Older men aren’t always more mature
You know how it is when you’re dating in your 20s — all the guys your own age seem more interested in partying than having a decent conversation. There is a certain expectation that an older man will be more mature. I briefly got involved with a man who was much older than me. I liked him because, although he enjoyed having a good time, he was also a gentleman. Or so I thought. It turned out he was an alcoholic with an immature streak and the tendency to control. Of course, not all older men are like this, but I quickly learned that older doesn’t necessarily mean better.
You shouldn’t force yourself to settle down too soon
A lot of my friends settled down and married before the age of 25. Some were married before they were 21. I felt pressure to do the same, even though I wasn’t really ready to hurry down the aisle. I talked to my boyfriend at the time about getting engaged but he told me there was no rush. He was right, too. Had he listened to my pleas, I would probably be divorced by now.
Guys aren’t good at reading subtle hints
It’s all very well thinking your boyfriend be more romantic, but that rarely comes naturally in a man. He won’t know that you want to go out to a nice restaurant for dinner instead of grabbing a sandwich from Subway unless you tell him. One of my ex-boyfriends had absolutely no idea that I didn’t find his three-hour tales of his day at work mentally stimulating. I tried everything to make him stop, including changing the subject, the occasional yawn and offering him beer. It wasn’t until I told him that I didn’t need every detail of his day outlined that he got the message. Now I know that being straightforward is the only way to be.
http://www.shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/4-things-i-wish-id-known-about-dating-when-i-was-20-2480630/
