Can A Love Triangle Be Healthy?

Why don’t people refrain from repeating bad actions that have actually caused them harm in the past? Jennifer Aniston lost Brad Pitt to Angelina Jolie, but she’s now seeing actor Justin Theroux — who the tabloids speculate she started dating while he was still with his live-in girlfriend Heidi Bivens. 

I’m not one to follow celebrity gossip (I swear), but I was intrigued by Dr. Jane Greer’s analysis of the Aniston situation in her Huffington Post article, Jennifer Aniston: Is She The Other Woman or the New Woman? And I do agree with some of Greer’s points.

Dr. Greer mentions that couples work to keep a relationship alive in the face of “the never-ending fight.” Often, one person in a union gives up when they feel there is no solution. In fact, many relationships continue despite one person’s emotional detachment. The fights stop because someone has given up, but the other person in the relationship perceives this as healing. The couple stays together because they fear that final break. Relationships with only one investor can continue but they certainly aren’t healthy. A two-engine plane can still fly if one engine fails, but who wants to sit on that plane?

I disagree with Dr. Greer’s points that the other woman, or man, is somehow saving a failing relationship. Dr. Greer goes as far as to say that affairs save some relationships because the bored person is now being satisfied elsewhere. So, they go through the motions of their relationships, drawing passion from other sources. Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t think it’s ever helpful or healthy to have an affair.

Maybe a new and exciting person can save someone from his or her dying relationship and put it out of its misery. This other woman or man is essentially pulling the plug on the original relationship that was on life support. That’s all fine and good, but there’s still someone who wants to keep the relationship alive — he/she is the victim.

Love triangles are selfish. Everyone involved is satisfying their own needs, without considering anyone else’s feelings. The victim must let their disillusioned lover go. The cheater should open his/her mouth and explain that he/she can’t be in the relationship. The other woman or man should wait in the wings until said love interest has wrapped up the other relationship. It’s healthier for two people to end a relationship themselves than to have someone else end it for them. Life is short, be honest and save time when your relationship is flying on one engine. Don’t wait for someone else to do it for you. Don’t hold on to someone who doesn’t want to be there, and don’t pretend you want to be there if you don’t.

Can a love triangle help end a relationship? Or do you agree with me that a relationship should be ended by the two people in it?

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