You think you know what guys like? They like you. And IMHMO (in my humble male opinion), these things show how cool, funny, and caring you are.
1. You make fun of me starting the minute we meet, and even my wingman’s laughing.
2. You ignore my texts but answer my calls. I should’ve just called, and I know it.
3. You send your overcooked steak back. You send your flat beer back. You have high standards! Just don’t send me back, OK?
4. You leave me wanting more when you kiss me good night. Best/worst walk home ever.
5. You constantly quote Liz Lemon. Because you’re right: Tina Fey is brilliant.
6. You’ve somehow coaxed my dog, Piano, into liking you more than he likes me. And I feed him!
7. You tell me your ex is an Olympic swimmer. Also, your other ex has seven tattoos, and your college boyfriend owns a social-media start-up and drives a Porsche. Because (ha-ha!) you’re with me now.
8. You can’t make it because you have a work thing, a volunteering thing, a friends thing, or a family thing. I like that you have things.
9. You can name the score of the game between our college football teams. And you rub it in.
10. You give me extremely specific instructions in bed. This is not like when I’m driving. This is 100 percent appreciated.
11. You take out the vibrator.
12. You spend hours getting ready in the bathroom. (Are you secretly sending work emails in there? Are you solving complex math problems? Are you trying to make us late?) And then you emerge, looking stunning.
13. You say things like, “Babe, the tie may be a bit uncomfortable, but what’s even more uncomfortable is feeling totally undressed.”
14. You lean on me all evening, thanks to those painful, sky-high heels you agonized for week about whether to buy. Somehow adorable.
15. You say, “Hey, why don’t we rewatch Girls.”
16. You also say, “I think you’ve had enough.”
17. You have a celebrity f–k list. Because I get to have one too, and hello, Gisele and Jennifer Lawrence!
18. You talk about Real Housewives of New York City like it’s something out of Edith Wharton. Which, I have to admit, it kind of is.
19. You need me to dispose of all spiders, cockroaches, slugs, and other creepy things. And i have to promise to do so without hurting them. (Except for the cockroaches.)
20. You’re not shy at all about saying what annoys you about me.