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Cue the Eye-rolling: How to Deal with Your Spouse’s Annoying Habits

By Babble.com

 

  • Dealing with your spouses annoying habitsMen are annoying and husbands maybe even more so. If you ask them, I am quite sure they would say that we are equally annoying. Ok, they may not admit it (some have gotten wise) but the eye rolls tend to be a dead giveaway.

    Although our love for our spouses is not based on how much they get on our nerves, the reality is that some things are hard to ignore. Most often we can close our eyes, make a wish, count to 10, or do whatever it is we do to cope, only to find that the man we married is still the same man he was 10 seconds ago. And those crumbs? Yup, they’re still on the counter. 

    Yet there is a way to deal with your spouse’s annoying habits, traits, behaviors (whatever you call them they are still annoying). According to Ashley Seeger, an Expert, over at Your Tango the trick is to fall in love with the behavior. What? Are you serious?! I am. Actually Ashley Seeger is serious and she raises some excellent points. She recommends putting aside broken promises in which you and your spouse (because he’s not rolling his eyes for nothing) pledge to change or not change. Far from resisting one another, or nagging, or debating whether or not you can “make room for it in your marriage,” she recommends learning to love that little annoying something:

    “You could spend the next five to 50 years shaming, raging or belittling your spouse, or you could find a way to accept this unacceptable trait.”

    Seeger points out that sometimes our responses to a certain behavior can actually do more damage to our relationships than the behavior itself. Another excellent point she makes is that:

    When confronted with anger, disappointment and frustration, we tend to dig in our heels and resist change. But when we are given love and acceptance, it frees us up to explore other ways of being.”

    So instead of being so focused on the behavior, there may instead be a way to come to terms with the fact that crumbs and airborne babies will be a part of your life until they – the babies – are too big to fly. Because the other option is to allow those lovely habits to come in between you. Life can be challenging enough as it is without being at odds with your partner over the fact that he forgot to pick up the laundry detergent again. You made room in your life and your heart for him, all of him, annoying habits and all. And since he’s still around, it’s pretty likely he’s doing something right.

    -By Krishann Briscoe

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