By Sarah B. Weir

After studying and working with thousands of couples ,researchers have found that there are 10 common bad habits couples engage in that make relationships miserable and can lead to break-up or divorce.

1. Insist your partner be exactly the same as you. Hendrix and LaKelly Hunt say “absolute compatibility” is an express route to a dull relationship. If you insist your partner have the same feelings and perceptions as you do, it can lead to despair and misery.

2. Focus on the negative. If you constantly think and talk about your partner’s flaws it can amplify your discontent. Hendrix points out that a paradox of most forms of couples therapy is that you spend your sessions complaining about your partner—something that can actually be detrimental to your relationship.

3. Refuse to listen. Thinking you are the right all the time and engaging in a one-way monologue is a great way to end up in a relationship…of one, warn LaKelly Hunt and Hendrix.

4. Hide your needs. If you don’t express what you need and want to your partner, you’ll constantly feel deprived and frustrated. Hendrix and LaKelly Hunt say it’s crucial share “the things that truly touch your heart.”

5. Expect a fairytale romance. Fairy tales are just that and eventually we all have to come down to earth. Demanding the fantasy go on forever prevents your partner from ever being their authentic self and fosters resentment and distance.

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