1. “Did I ever tell you about the time X and I skinny-dipped?”
“She didn’t, but now that’s all I can think about,” says Charles S., 42. “I’ve never skinny-dipped with her, and she’s my wife! I wonder what other wild things she and her ex got up to that I’ve never heard about.” While you may intend to innocently share stories about your crazy single days, your guy hears this and assumes you’re still hung up on your ex. You don’t have to edit your stories for his ears, but add how much more fun it would be to go skinny-dipping with him so he knows that he’s the only one you want.
2. Do you know how many gray hairs you have?
“My wife said this to me on my 40th birthday!” says Mike S., 41. “I know she was just kidding, but more than a year later, I still think about it every time I look in the mirror. I thought I looked good.” Gentle ribbing is part of marriage, but it’s important to get across that you still find your husband hot. “Men too can be self-conscious about aging,” says Holly Hein, Ph.D., a psychotherapist in Los Angeles. Even stating the obvious–“I’m so attracted to you”–makes it clear that you have no desire to trade him in for a younger model.