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1. I think some men like to be in that not-quite-broken-up space, where we stick around even when things aren’t “going somewhere,” because we like to leave our options open. You know how they say that, when you’re looking for a new job, it’s always better to already have one? Men know that women, like employers, can smell the sad desperation of a lonely man on the hunt. Plus, while we’re looking around, we still have you, checking your phone, wondering where we are. Again, I apologize.

2. I also think many men (and many women) are chronically ambivalent when it comes to relationships. We don’t trust ourselves. Yes, I often hesitate to commit, but I also hesitate to break up. I worry I’m being too critical and expecting too much from a relationship, so I don’t trust my gut when my gut is shouting, “Retreat, retreat!” The result: I end up remaining in nebulous situations longer than I should.

3. Finally, most men (at least, the men I know) hate the thought of hurting women or making them cry. We’d rather prolong a clearly doomed relationship than end it, as long as it means we don’t have to witness you getting all upset.

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