Is the number of guys you’ve slept with any of you man’s damn business?
- by The_Stir, 11 hours 20 minutes ago
Commercials for What’s Your Number? have been in heavy rotation — rivaling only those feelin’ good Jennifer Hudson Weight Watchers ads, which filter through about twice an hour. The concept of the movie alone makes it look good, from both the entertainment and the pro-girl power standpoint. Naturally, I’m interested in both.
We all know there’s a double standard in play for women to cling to our virtuousness. I can’t think of one culture, one religion, one social convention that encourages us to explore our sexuality. Guys, on the other hand, are slapped high fives and become the heroes of the locker room or barbershop for knocking off as many gals as they can possibly seduce. It’s a badge of honor for a man to be a ho. They laugh about it. It’s a mark of shame for a woman. No giggles there.
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But these dudes are knockin’ boots with somebody, and they’re not all gay, sooo ….
That means just as many chicks are gettin’ it in as they are, but ain’t nobody in the beauty salon or the spa giving them pats on the back for nailing X (or XX or XXX) amount of fellas.
In a typical context, virginity is almost like a burden that guys can’t wait to offload. I know somebody who lost his at 8. That one boggles my mind (and grosses me out a little bit, honestly). I was over there playing with my Barbies and soaking up The Smurfs and this guy, who grew up not that far away from me, was whipping out his baby man part for naughty purposes. Ugh. His mother couldn’t possibly know or I can almost guarantee she would try her best to give him a retroactive beating, more than 20 years after the fact.
So whenever you get into a relationship, you’re already assuming that your guy is not going to be fresh-out-the-box new, especially since, the older you are, the more off-putting it would be for a man to confess that he’s 42 and never been deflowered. Eventually there’s probably going to be conversation about how many people each of you has been with in the past. He’ll proudly unveil his, maybe laugh off your shock if his Wilt Chamberlain-like number makes your jaw drop or clutch your chest like Fred Sanford. Whether it’s sky-high or more average, there’s no ramification for him. You two will go on as planned, lovey dovey and all.
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But your past might be the one to throw a monkey wrench in the smooth progression. As the saying goes, when a woman tells her current boo how many previous boos she’s been with, he should multiply that number by two to get the actual figure. So do you stay true to tradition and edit your numbers? Or do you just give him the unadulterated, take-it-or-leave-it truth? And maybe more importantly, is it really any of his business?
Certainly the information isn’t necessary. It doesn’t say anything about who the woman is as a person any more than looking at her bank account balance does. And with the standards of purity and spotlessness imposed to make us be “good girls,” anything more than four, maybe five is going to seem like way, way too many for a dude to digest.
Some guys don’t even want to know at all for that very reason. Why muss up a potentially good thing with the knowledge that your girl has sexed up the equivalent of a small college town population? It’s a comparison most guys don’t want to make, even if they boast the same kinds of numbers on their romantic resume.
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I think, even if they don’t want to readily admit it, that men are a little intimidated by a woman who knows her ish in the bedroom because she’s been through enough partners and experiences to know what’s supposed to go down. There’s no margin for error, and some guys need that. Hence why virgins are so darn popular. Not only do they get to be the first to conquer her, but they don’t have to worry about performance issues because, hey, what does she know? She’s new at it. But get to a gal who’s got 20, 30 fellas under her belt, and she knows how to work the system — and when the system isn’t working. There’s room to make comparisons, too, and that’s enough to make the fragile male ego break out in a cold sweat.
Should you be honest with your man about how many guys you’ve slept with?