The latest sites, apps, and technology make life easier than ever, but could they be putting a damper on your intimacy? Let’s turn down the digital drama. By Anne Roderique-Jones,
Facebook reintroduces characters from your past
If not for Facebook, we’d have a much more difficult time keeping up-to-date on our friends’ promotions, adorable baby photos, and favorite memes. But while the social network is a fantastic tool for keeping in touch with friends and family, it can also put a huge strain on your marriage. Facebook is designed to connect you with your past, but with that comes things it might not be so wise to bring back. A friend request from a high school crush can quickly turn into messaging, texting, and emotional infidelity because without an in-person connection, cheating is much more difficult to define.
Instagram takes you out of the moment
A free, user-friendly way to take photos without lugging around a camera, Instagram’s one of our favorite ways to record important – and not so important – events. But the photo app that turns an average person into Ansel Adams can actually be ruinous for romance. “This past weekend, my husband and I were on a potentially romantic getaway, and while we were walking on the beach, I was so consumed with trying to get the perfect pictures of seashells that I didn’t even notice he was about 100 feet ahead of me,” says Chrissy Monroe of Cold Springs, NY. “So much for enjoying each other’s company.” Kerner empathizes – he jokingly refers to his wife as “the paparazzi” thanks to her phone constantly going off. But taking photos for, and looking at others’ snapshots on Instagram is actually a distancing mechanism, he says. “You end up with the moments, but not the experiences.”
Twitter makes you focus on the wrong people
Whereas we use Facebook to keep in touch with friends – or at least acquaintances – Twitter encourages us to follow media, celebrities, and people that we don’t know personally. The custom newsfeed of sorts makes keeping up with the world around you simpler, but giving your time and attention to strangers, rather than the people in whom you’re invested – and who feel the same way about you – can be detrimental to your most important relationships. “It’s a mistake to think you know everything there is to know about the people closest to you,” says Buckley, who suggests you work on learning from the people around you, rather than seeking newness outside of your social circle. You never know which friend can introduce you to an awesome, trendy workout, or why your husband’s so invested in a particular political issue until you ask.
