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Is Monogamy Really THAT Confusing?

By Marianne Mancusi Beach, GalTime.com

You’re in love. You’ve changed your Facebook status to “In a Relationship.” So surely your glorious new significant other understands without a doubt your implied exclusivity. In other words–no more sleeping around!

But a new study finds monogamy may not be something to be assumed. And if you don’t have an actual agreement in place–you need to protect yourself.

Public Health researchers Joceylyn Warren and Marie Harvey of Oregon State University examined data from the PARTNERS Project, a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention study conducted by Harvey. They found many couples misjudged their partner’s commitment to monogamy.

Related: Is it ALWAYS Wrong to Flirt With a Guy Who is Taken?

For example, when surveying 434 heterosexual couples ages 18-25, they found that in forty percent of cases, one partner said the two of them agreed to sexual exclusivity, while the other said there was NO explicit agreement.

In other words – one partner feels it’s still okay to hook up on the side.

“Other studies have looked at perceptions related to monogamy, but this is really the first one that explores the discussions that heterosexual couples are – or aren’t – having about monogamy,” Warren says. “Miscommunication and misunderstandings about sexual exclusivity appear to be common.”

Related: Why People Get Married If They’re NOT In Love

But wait–even if you did have “the talk” and agreed to be exclusive, the researchers say there’s still no guarantees. The study found thirty percent of couples with an explicit agreement to be monogamous fell off the wagon–with at least one partner looking for love outside the relationship.

So what does this admittedly depressing study mean? Well, first of all, communication is important. And you should at least attempt to define your relationship to determine monogamy–rather than just assume it. But even then, consider using protection with your partner–even after you’ve agreed to be exclusive. 

“Monogamy comes up quite a bit as a way to protect against sexually transmitted diseases,” says Harvey. “But you can see that agreement on whether one is monogamous or not is fraught with issues.”

http://www.shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/is-monogamy-really-that-confusing-2445064/