Q&A: What Chilli Really Wants
By Blackie Collins on Mar 22nd 2011 2:22PM
Filed under: Celebrity Love
You may know singer Chilli best from 1990s girl group TLC. You may know her from her high profile relationships with A-listers in the music biz like Usher and Dallas Austin. Perhaps you rooted for her as she searched for love on her popular VH1 reality show ‘What Chilli Wants.’
No matter the rhyme or reason, the bottom line is, you know Chilli.
…Or do you?
While in town for the SoftSheen-Carson Roots of Nature “Picture of Strength” benefit, BV sat down with the R&B star to get the dish on love in the reality world versus love in the real world… and a bit more to boot.
BLACK VOICES: How did you get involved with SoftSheen-Carson Roots of Nature’s “Picture of Strength” event?
CHILLI: They reached out to me, I think because of what they’re doing with natural products. Everybody knows how I like to be natural with my hair, so I think SoftSheen-Carson thought I’d be a good fit.
I really liked the event because it benefited “A Place Called Home.” It’s a great mentorship program and it gives kids everything they should be getting at home, but unfortunately aren’t.
BV: What’s going on with TLC these days? Are you doing any recording or planning to continue forward as a dynamic duo?
CHILLI: There will always just be the two of us, never a third member, so any work will just be the two of us. We did shows like our 20th anniversary [performance]. We’re working on shows in the spring. We haven’t done any in the states since the concerts with Justin Timberlake. We do a lot overseas, though.
BV: TLC was such a bold and outspoken group. You wore condoms to talk about safe sex, you wrote songs and lyrics on controversial topics. You really were one of the premiering girl groups in contemporary music. And you did it with class in a way some say has disappeared. With such girl power behind TLC, how do you feel about the current state of music and its oversexed female artists?
CHILLI: For the most part, guys have always dealt with the same thing – girls, money, cars – but when it comes to female artists, it’s rare to see one talk about positive stuff and keep her clothes on. When they talk about uplifting things, they don’t get the same kind of praise they get from taking their clothes off, so in their minds they don’t see it as a negative.
The problem is all these young kids looking up to them. They imitate what they do, they think it’s cool. In my opinion, you’ll always have artists expressing themselves in different ways, but we’re definitely missing the artists that are expressing themselves in a more positive light. BV: Being in reality television is a tough decision, putting your life out there so publicly. What made you do it? Why take your search for love to national TV?
CHILLI: It’s funny because you never know where you can find love. It could be in the grocery store – you just never know where you’ll find the one. When I thought about doing the show with VH1, I told them we had to do it a certain way. On these reality shows, you have a lot of guys you’re dating and that isn’t how it is in my world. So they took a chance on playing it in a safe way. It was challenging, though, because for the most part all these guys knew me, but I didn’t know them.
BV: Do you find that the search was even harder because some of the guys had ulterior motives?
CHILLI: Honestly, I feel like a lot of them probably came on the show because they just wanted to meet me, not necessarily to actually get to know me, date me. Most people don’t do reality television for the right reasons. They just want exposure. I kept all that in mind, definitely.
At the end of the day, I just hope a lot of women get to be inspired by me as far as my standards and how I feel about relationships. How you should look at yourself and love yourself before you enter into any relationship. You have to make sure they’re healthy, also. People worry about being by themselves, but I think being with the wrong person is the worst type of loneliness because you are unhappy.
BV: So what about the checklist from the first season? Is it still in such strict effect?
CHILLI: The checklist is about knowing your self worth. That will never change for me. I know the areas I’m willing to compromise on. We didn’t elaborate on those things on my show, but I know the deal breakers. At the end of the day, you want to be with someone who mirrors the same positive qualities you find in yourself. You have to have a lot in common just to stay in a relationship at all. People get caught up in the surface and then you find yourself unhappy in the end.
BV: Where are you today in your dating life? Anyone special?
CHILLI: Well [laughs]…um…I don’t want to say. I think I’ll keep that to myself right now [more laughter]. I’m happy. BV: There’s a lot of commentary about black love being on the decline and black women being the bottom of the dating totem pole. What advice do you give single black women?
CHILLI: I think black women should open themselves up. You talk to most black women and they want a black man. There’s nothing wrong with that, but black men aren’t doing that, you know? Other races aren’t doing it either.
At the end of the day, you just want someone good and if they’re another race, than so what? Just have things in common, find happiness together. Most black women keep themselves in a box, unfortunately. I’d tell them to open that up.
BV: Jumping topics a little, if you were stranded on an island, what three albums would you want with you for all of eternity?
CHILLI: Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson and Michael Jackson!
Blackie Collins is a Manhattan girl with a big heart and a closet full of girly things like skirts and heels. She loves laying on the beach, dogs with people names like Linda, hoop earrings, and sky-high platform heels. When she isn’t writing, she can be found scouring blogs, brunching with friends, or enjoying happy hour at any hour of the day. Her true passion is boys. It is perhaps the reason she can’t get anything done. Get it in with her at thatbitchstolemyline.com, email her at blckcollins@gmail.com, or follow her on Twitter @blackiecollins.
