5 Reasons to Love Being Single
By Amy Paturel
Single? Here’s a reason to celebrate. According to our calendar, it’s National Unmarried and Single Americ ans we ek. Finally, an entire week for the nearly 100 million of us w ho haven’t found “the one” — yet!
After all, with holidays like New Year’s and Valentine’s Day highlighting the benefits of being in a relationship, it’s time we devoted a week to the perks of livin’ la vida solo.
“In an era where independence is celebrated, it’s surprising how many singletons still get grilled for not being a plus 1,” says Dr. Karin Anderson, Ph.D., author of It Just Hasn’t Happened Yet.
Here’s why we think being single rocks!
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1. You call the shots: When you’re in a relationship, you’re almost required to check in with your S.O. about everything from what to have for dinner to when to take a much-needed vacation. “For most of us — especially those who had independent, adult lives before establishing partnerships — the mandatory, “I’ll have to check with __________” before determining just about anything often proves a major nuisance — one with which single people don’t have to be bothered,” says Anderson.
2. Your money is your own: Sure, singles don’t benefit from dual incomes and the financial advantages of sharing living expenses, but they also don’t have to ask for permission to indulge in a spa day — or designer jeans. Nor do they have to worry about whether their partner is losing their mortgage money in Friday night poker.
3. You can be a better friend: Once you get hitched, priorities change. Spa days and shopping trips become a thing of the past and your Friday nights are usually devoted to your beau. “One of the biggest mistakes women make is expecting their man to meet all their emotional needs,” says Anderson. “No one person can do this and such a demand taxes even the strongest romantic relationships.”
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4. You get strong: Like it or not, singles can often feel alienated and marginalized. People think, “What’s wrong with her? Why isn’t she married yet?” But the old adage is true: “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, and singles often attain a measure of strength and independence that folks in relationships simply never have to acquire,” says Anderson.
5. Anything is possible: Some unlucky couples feel trapped in relationships, and end up sticking it out due to fear, for the kids or for financial reasons. But for singles, the future is wide open!
Coupled up? Here are two ways to feel like a single gal again:
1. Call the shots: Missing the days when you ran the show? See if your partner will let you play “Queen for the Day.” Obviously, you’ll have to take turns at this one so a dictatorship doesn’t arise (i.e. give him a crack at being king), but with a day to be the boss, you might be able to reclaim a feeling of independence regarding time, money and decision-making in general.
2. Be a better friend: Let’s face it, friendships often take a back seat to our relationships. And curling up on the couch with your man after a long work week is a lot easier than dolling up to hit the town with the girls. “But if you miss the intimacy of your female friendships, invest in them a bit more,” says Anderson.