Wise Guys: Should a Woman Be Worried About Her Boyfriend’s Female Friends?

Icon of man and woman holding hands. Based on public domain

Advice from three of‘s guy friends. This week they answer the following: Should a woman be worried if her boyfriend has tons of very close female friends?” To ask the guys your own question, click here.

Married Straight Guy (Jake): On the contrary, I think a man with many close female friends shows that he has the empathy, listening skills, sensitivity and charisma that are valuable in a partner. And if he is floating in a sea of women but chooses to be with you, that’s a confidence booster if I’ve ever seen one.

Single Straight Guy (Megan): No, not if he has tons of them. Some guys just get along better with women than with other men. I’m in that category. I was raised by a single mother and one older sister. Relating to women is easy for me because I’ve been surrounded by women all my life. I’m sure I’m not alone in this category. A woman should be worried if her boyfriend has one, very special friend. A solitary friendship like that can slide into an intimate, physical, sexual relationship. A friendship like that contains honesty, candor, trust, respect and even love of a different sort. A relationship like that can effortlessly reach a tipping point and judgment can lapse if one of the people in the relationship experience an element of trauma, betrayal, loss, frustration or even plain old intoxication. It’s a common misconception to think that the grass is greener, but, in my experience, it has not been for any prolonged amount of time. There is excitement in a new, different and rejuvenated kind of intimacy between two “friends”, but when that new relationship ends, so does the friendship. It’s better to have one, exclusive partner and a number of close friends than one, exclusive partner and one, very close female friend. There is less chance of a deeper, more intimate relationship developing that way and, as a result, a better chance of the exclusive relationship’s survival.

Committed Gay Guy (Dwayne): Girl friends are the best! The more girl friends, the more knowledge, insight, and gossip. It’s healthy to have many friends, whatever sex they are.

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