Women Are Desperate to Get Married … And 9 More Myths in the Male Mind
In the infamous words of George Costanza, “It’s not a lie if you believe it.” We all believe half-truths to make sense of the nonsensical to some degree. When it comes to solving mysteries of the opposite sex, one could argue reconciliation by half-truths is better than nothing at all. In an attempt to understand the complexities of women, men have developed a series of convenient, female “truths.” Check out these 10 untruths of the male imagination.
1. Women fantasize about other women
Men, you fantasize about women fantasizing about other women. When in fact we fantasize about Ryan Gosling or Christian Grey…or Ryan Gosling as Christian Grey.
2. Girls’ nights involve sexy pillow fights
Sexy pillow fights have never once existed outside of a Katy Perry video. Check out these 5 ridiculous things men think happen on girls’ night.
3. You’re the best she’s ever had
You just might be…but then again you might not be. What is she going to do, tell you she’s had better? C’mon.
4. Women are desperate to get married
Relax, Romeo, women aren’t racing to the altar. The National Center for Health Statistics found 40% of women have never been married, with even fewer currently in their first marriage. So relax, enjoy, and think about putting a ring on it when the time is right.
5. Women feel indifferent toward sex
We’re not. In fact, when we’re not tired/PMSing/too cold/bloated/stressed/craving chocolate, we’re so totally hot for you.
6. Women want lots of babies
Do you honestly think we want babies so dang badly that we don’t even care what you want (or don’t want)? Or worse yet, that we’ll resort to all kinds of female voodoo to trap you into child support forever? I’m not saying this never happens, but it’s the exception, not the rule. Let’s chalk female trickery up to a few bad apples.
7. Women go to the bathroom in groups to talk about you
We go to the bathroom in groups because the line is so damn long that we need people to talk to whilst hating on ourselves in fluorescent lighting.
8. Women hang out naked, or at least in sexy lingerie
Most women I know go from naked to fully clothed in 1.7 seconds. We do like sexy lingerie, UNDER OUR CLOTHES.
9. Women don’t go for the nice guys
We love nice guys: nice guys with backbones.
10. Pretty girls don’t poop
We know you know pretty girls poop. We also know you don’t want to know, but you know what’s grosser than a pretty girl pooping? A pretty girl not pooping.
– By Lori Garcia Original Story
