Men & Vulnerability

We live in a society and culture where masculinity is defined by a man’s ability to succeed financially, provide for others, and be the protector. The problem with this paradigm is that most men fall short in one or more of these areas, which can lead to feelings of guilt, shame and failure. These negative emotions can obscure the warning signs of depression, which include feelings of isolation and shifts in mental and physical health.

Preventive mental health is vital to most other aspects of life, because actions stem from thoughts. Below are five practical tips for encouraging men to acknowledge that their mental health may be in danger and to overcome these challenges.

1. Know that it is okay to ask for help.

Do not allow the stigma of seeking out psychiatric and clinical assistance to prevent you from taking a step toward living a healthier and thriving life. When you feel hopeless and alone, you must know that as a man it is okay to ask for help. The human condition transcends gender roles. If you deny and suppress your true emotions, depression will inevitably follow.  Do not be afraid to seek the help of a professional doctor.

2. Embrace transparency with other men.

You are not alone. There is a great power in vulnerability, because it becomes relatable. Embrace organizations and groups that foster brotherhood and community. Being a part of a close-knit community, such as a local barbershop or men’s organization, makes it easier to ask for help or to reach out for support when you need it most.

3. Learn to put yourself first.

Learning to put yourself first is vital. Neglect of self is counter-productive and leads to self-sabotage. This sounds cliché, but if you don’t put yourself first, who will? Self-care is not to be neglected. When you prepare for take-off on an airplane, the flight attendant says that, in case of emergency, you must put your own mask on first. Well, it’s the same way in your self-care. If you ignore the warning signs that your mental and physical health are declining, you put your life at risk. You’re more valuable to your community when your health is in top form.

4. Be aware of your triggers.

Be in tune with what sets you off. Acknowledge the things that make you feel badly about yourself, your relationships, and your life. Know the coping mechanisms that you should be aware of, such as excessive drinking or eating, patterns of isolation, sleep deprivation, and promiscuous sexual activity. Your thoughts, feelings and experiences are valid; with professional help you can learn healthy coping mechanisms.

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5. Embrace what makes you happy.

Doing what you love will lead to an increase in positive thinking and healthy habits. Embracing your own path, the things that excite you and spending time cultivating healthy relationships are great ways to combat mental health imbalances.

Kenneth Todd (KT) Nelson, a new millennium social activist and actor, is a native of Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Nelson merged his experiences as a community activist and actor to create a telling documentary called “Faces of Darkness”.  In this cinematic project, KT serves as the co-creator, executive producer, and director of a compelling film which shines a spotlight on the crippling effects of depression and anxiety amongst African American men. Follow him on Twitter @actornyc. Join KT June 13 at “The Mind, Body &Spirit: Men’s Health & Wellness Conference” in New York. Click here to RSVP.