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…I’m also giving what is necessary for the relationship to have the reciprocity that it needs for us to both be fulfilled. So while I do have a family, I may not have to go into the kitchen because he knows I’ve been at work all day. So not only is he going to pick the baby up from school, he’s going to feed her and make sure he has something in the refrigerator for me too? Oh yeah, you about to get it when I get home.

There’s reciprocity in it. I’m not painting a picture of a woman who is just a martyr for the D-game. I’m not just going to live my life in service unto you, but what I am saying is that in the right relationship, being of service begets reciprocity of everybody’s needs being met…whatever they may be.”

So, what Nash is really saying is that she as a wife is a giver, but not in the sense that giving all of yourself just to please someone who doesn’t give back. But her giving inspires giving from her husband. So they are not in it 50/50, but 100/100.

Her advice actually reminds me of advice that a friend said that his father told him: “Whenever you’re in a heated argument with your wife and you’re at home, start getting undressed. After you get naked, only two things are going to happen: 1) she will start laughing or 2) you and her will start to get busy. Either way, the argument has stopped.”

In summary, the couple that comes together…ah, you know the rest.

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Niecy Nash: “It’s Hard To Fight Naked”  was originally published on

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