Guilt may be one of the heaviest crosses to bear. It’s omnipresent, showing up in our thoughts, feelings and the memories we try to flush away to no avail. Living with the awareness that we’ve acted immorally, whether intentionally or not, is a pill that’s just way too big and bitter to swallow. Getting over guilt is a process. Time certainly plays a large role, along with forgiveness from anyone we’ve wronged. But most importantly, we have to realize that we’re worthy to live freely without being bogged down by the mental and emotional burden of a mistake.
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On Monday, the world followed Oprah into Cissy Houston’s home and witnessed a heart-felt and candid conversation between the two. They openly discussed the life of Cissy’s daughter and our icon, Whitney Houston. I was very impressed by Momma Houston’s composure as she relived painful memories, like the time she unexpectedly showed up to Whitney’s home only to find her high and how she still painfully asks herself, “I wonder whether Nippy loved me?” Though you could still see and feel the hurt through her transparent sincerity, it appeared as though she had accepted the tragedy and its intensity and therefore is in a space to live and go on.
Her son Michael, on the other hand, joined in for the latter part of the interview and didn’t seem as “free.” He cleared the common misconception that Bobby Brown introduced Whitney to drugs, and admitted that he in fact introduced his sister to drugs when they were young in the 80s. Like many, when cocaine was easily accessible and new to the social scene, Michael was completely unaware of the torment and sickness the drug inflicted. Even though his sister told him, “Don’t let anyone make you feel bad or responsible for what I do. I’m a grown woman,” he couldn’t shake the guilt and said that he still blames himself. It was heartbreaking to hear Michael say, “I’m living, but I’m not alive” and open up about his suicide attempt and relapse as a result of the guilt. Fortunately, Michael has been clean since October 2012, but sadly, there’s not a day that goes by where he doesn’t feel at fault for his sister’s untimely death.
There was so much to take from this interview, but liberating yourself from guilt was what resonated with me most. Sometimes, just like Michael, we are our own prosecutor—even when everyone around us is encouraging us to free ourselves. Living in guilt is miserable, and thankfully, we don’t have to. The way each of us will come to the point where we can live in harmony with ourselves is different, but acknowledging that we’re deserving of a guilt-free life is a good first step for us all.
Check Out The Interview Below:
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Did you see Oprah’s interview with Cissy and Michael Houston? What did you think of it? What were your thoughts on Michael’s feelings? Have you ever been burdened by guilt? How did you deal with it? Share with your fellow beauties.
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CHICK CHAT: How To Let Go Of Guilt Even When You’re At Fault was originally published on hellobeautiful.com
