by Dr. J

In this game of life I don’t make the rules.  In fact, there are very few rules.  Have you ever heard of someone who lied on their resume, job application, or just generally misrepresented themselves on a legal document?  I know a few men who still live in Syracuse, NY, no matter if most of their mail gets sent to Harlem, NY.  (We call this the insurance hustle.)  I know a few females who were asked to leave their last job, but when they fill out an application asking if they’ve ever been fired or asked to resign because of a performance issue, they check the box that says, “No.”  So it shouldn’t surprise you when you look on facebook and see that “Superhead” from your alma mater is getting married.  It shouldn’t surprise you either when you click on her fiance’s profile that he says, “Engaged, to one of the most kind and truly great hearts in a woman.  So glad we met at bible study.”

“I’m sure I’ve been somebody’s jumpoff before.” – Anonymous Female.

I have no clue what this means.  Either you was or you wasn’t.  You can’t tell the judge, “Well, I’m sure I’ve done some drugs one might consider illegal before.”  He still has to pay the price for his actions.  To be quite frank with you, she might as well just fess up to participating in some loose behavior.  You was getting your freak on.  Am I the only one who thinks to himself when he sees a girl he used to mess with getting married, “I bet I could still beat if I tried”?  So, the fact remains they say you can’t turn a h*e into a housewife, but I know plenty of married h*es.

I mean when you think about it, it makes perfect sense.  A jumpoff is nothing more than a girl experienced in the game at getting men to sleep with her, often and frequently.  So at the end of the day she knows how to get a man.  She knows that if she wears “those” shoes and “that” hater top and “no” panties, some guy will want to know what’s good after 10:45AM service.

What gets to me is how some men get got.  I once said about an ex, “She will never convince me that she’s not cheating on her man, but she’s managed to convince the only person that counts.  That idiot.”  And I’m thinking about all the women I know who are bragging about what some noodle is doing for them, whether it be; taking them on vacation, taking them to expensive dinners, buying them clothes, holding hands, kissing on the lips, etc, and I’m thinking to myself, “That’s a lot of wasted motion for some chick with an oral fixation.  Just pull your junk out.”

These women are flat out lying on their CarFax reports.  They won’t tell you how many people have hit that.  They will even number drop like it impresses you.  On some, “I am glad I can count the amount of men I’ve been with.”  (Read: Yes Rhonda, you should know that you have slept with 58 dudes since 2008.)  You know that women have a very interesting policy about NOT counting people they’ve slept with?  Most women don’t count men they’ve only had sex with once.  Now think about when Drake said, “Did you spend the night on his bed, on the very first date?”  Because let’s be honest, many of nights with random women in the bottle section of a club, ended with one night stands.  When you think back to all the women you smashed off on the first night and then never spoke to again, because it was HER choice, you can scratch a hole in your head.

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