At a dinner where a hired comedian gets to skewer the president and politicians, Obama whipped out his rhetorical Ginsu knife and sliced and diced away at his adversaries and critics.
Obama wasted no time in going after Trump and those who question whether he was born in the United States and qualified to be president.
He introduced an all-American video clip that featured apple pie, scenes from “Rocky,” baseball games and tractor pulls. As the song “I am an American” thumped in the background, a copy of Obama’s long-form birth certificate pulsated on giant video screens inside the ballroom at the Washington Hilton and on the TV screens of C-SPAN viewers watching the A-list black-tie dinner.
With a straight face, Obama also told the crowd he was releasing the short-form video of his birth, which ended up being a clip of the scene of the anointment of cub Simba from Walt Disney’s “The Lion King.”
“Oh, well. Back to square one,” he said to a ballroom full of laughter. “I want to make clear to the Fox News table: That was a joke. That was not my real birth video. That was a children’s cartoon. Call Disney if you don’t believe me. They have the original long-form version.”
But Obama saved his best for Trump, who was among the bevy of celebrities attending the dinner. The wealthy real estate mogul and television realty show host is flirting with a GOP presidential run and has gained traction in the polls largely because of his constant questioning about Obama’s birth certificate – and more recently, his college academic record.
“Donald Trump is here tonight!” the president said. “Now, I know that he’s taken some flak lately, but no one is happier, no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than The Donald. And that’s because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter – like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?”
As Obama spoke, C-SPAN cameras repeatedly panned to a stoned-face Trump, who had told reporters before the dinner that he didn’t think the president would respond to his birther bombs in his remarks Saturday night.
But Obama did, and once he started, he didn’t let up. Tongue firmly in check, Obama praised Trump’s decision-making and executive prowess, as seen on TV.
“For example – no, seriously, just recently, in an episode of ‘Celebrity Apprentice,’ at the steakhouse, the men’s cooking team did not impress the judges from Omaha Steaks. And there was a lot of blame to go around,” Obama said. “But you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership. And so ultimately, you didn’t blame Lil’ Jon or Meat Loaf. You fired Gary Busey. And these are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night. Well handled, sir. Well handled.”
Trump actually got double-roasted at the dinner. Once Obama stopped joking about him, “Saturday Night Live” head writer Seth Meyers, the hired entertainment for the evening, also let him have it.
Meyers noted that Trump “said he’s running as a Republican. Which is surprising: I just assumed he was running as a joke.”
Of The Donald’s famous helmet-hair, comb-over mullet, Meyers said Trump “often appears on Fox,” which is funny “because a fox often appears on Donald Trump’s head.”
On Trump’s recent statement that he has an ability to appeal to “the blacks,” Meyers said: “(Trump has) said …..
Meyers also hurled some pointed barbs towards Obama, naming the one person who could defeat the incumbent president in 2012.
“I’ll tell you who could beat you: 2008 Barack Obama,” Meyers said. “You would have loved him.”
The comedian noted that if Obama’s hair is gets any whiter “the Tea Party is going to endorse it.”
Obama had fun rhetorically assaulting the field of potential Republican presidential candidates, and used the birther issue as ammunition. Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) was his first target.
“I understand, and she is thinking about running for president, which is weird because I hear she was born in Canada,” he said. “Yes, Michele, this is how it starts. Just letting you know.”
Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty? “He seems all American,” Obama said. “But have you heard his real middle name? Tim ‘Hosni’ Pawlenty? What a shame.”
As for Jon Huntsman, the U.S. ambassador to China who’s also contemplating a presidential run, there maybe a little “Manchurian Candidate” in him, Obama teased.
“He didn’t learn to speak Chinese to go there,” Obama said. “Oh, no. He learned English to come here.”
Obama also cut on Hollywood celebrities who supported him in 2008, but say he’s been a disappointment since entering the White House.
“Just the other day, Matt Damon – I love Matt Damon, love the guy – Matt Damon said he was disappointed in my performance,” Obama said. “Well, Matt, I just saw ‘The Adjustment Bureau,’ so right back atcha, buddy.”
Damon wasn’t at the dinner, but a slew of other celebrities were. Comedian Marlon Wayans, actors Sean Penn, Jon Hamm, directors Joel and Ethan Coen, singer Cee-Lo Green, Olympian Shaun White, cyclist Lance Armstrong, NFL wide receiver Terrell Owens, musician David Byrne were among the celebrity eye candy in the house.
Sex Positions You’ve Never Heard Of (But Need to Try, Now)
Amber Alert Cancelled, 5 Yr Old Darnell Taylor Found Dead
Here's Where To Find The Best Corned Beef in Cleveland!
These AT&T Outage Posts Will Make You Laugh, Unless Your Phone Is Still Off
Get Your Tickets To The We Them Ones Comedy Tour!
Cam Newton Remains Unfazed After Getting Jumped At Youth Football Event, Social Media Reacts
8 Things About Sexting That Actually Turn Women On
Where Are They Now? Acclaimed R&B Duo Zhane