By Holly Corbett

Send him lexts (love texts)

When we focus on something, we tend to see it show up more often. So try sending him a text every day this month that acknowledges something you appreciate about him, such as “I love that you get me peanut M&Ms when I have PMS.” “My husband did a text appreciation month for me after he forgot to get me a Valentine’s Day card one year, and I was surprised that he found something new to write every single day – it made me feel so cherished,” says Orna Walters, who co-founded Creating Love on Purpose, a relationship coaching service, with her husband, Matthew.

Be a team player

It might be enough not make you love laundry, but doing chores around the house with your husband is actually a huge relationship booster. Sometimes merely spending time with him as he’s tinkering around – not grand gestures – are what really makes him feel more close to you. And the research proves it. Taking part in shared tasks was another top-five relationship booster. “It doesn’t mean that you have to vacuum the floor together, but simultaneously doing the chores that keep your household functioning, such as washing the dishes while he fixes the stove, reminds you both that you are working together as a team,” says Dr. Ogolsky.

Pen a relationship bucket list

Just like you sometimes need assurances at work or from your friends – think: “I’m grateful to have a best friend like you” – your relationship also needs frequent positive reinforcement. Your guy loves hearing things like, “I feel like the luckiest girl in the world having you as my husband.” Not surprisingly, this relationship strategy also made the top-five list. Think of those little things you do and say that remind your husband that you’re not going anywhere as relationship insurance. “You’re effectively boosting commitment by creating a shared future with your partner,” says Dr. Ogolsky. Dreaming together strengthens your bond, so try creating a list of your shared dreams, such as owning a summer home or traveling to Asia one day.

Behave like his girlfriend

When you begin dating someone, you do things that make your romantic prospect think you’re going to be the greatest partner ever, such as baking him a special dessert or meeting up with his family even when you don’t feel like it. “At the end of the day, a good relationship is an exchange of care,” says Dr. Walsh. “To give and get a little more, try behaving like a girlfriend instead of a wife.” Join him for game he loves that you wouldn’t normally go to; initiate a spontaneous make-out session on the couch; or text him that you miss him just because.

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