1. Work
Many companies have started operating in a “do more with less” environment. (Do more with less but not with the increased pay, I might add). You might find yourself spending more time at work, possibly traveling, and becoming closer to people at work. As soon as you get home everyday, you share with your spouse all the ends and outs of your day at work. This includes who got a bad performance appraisal, who has a crush on who, who has problems at home, and it keeps going. Yes, you want to share everything with your spouse, but should you?
I remember a story that I was told many years ago about a man who had a stressful job but a very happy marriage that had lasted many years. Each night when he came home, he would rub a rock that he placed outside the door of his home. He explained that rubbing the rock was the reminder to leave all his work problems and issues at home and to be a husband and father when he walked in the door. So, stop and think how much time you spend venting and raving about what is happening at work. Your spouse may not have a clue about who or what you are really talking about and really may not want to hear the same stories everyday. In an effort to avoid this rut, try coming home a few times a week, rubbing the rock at your door, and just be in the moment.
2. Compromising Too Much
There are times when we should experience new things with our spouse. But what happens if you’re just not jazzed about your spouse’s favorite activities? A great example is video games: gaming is a hot industry, and it’s not just for children. Adults of both sexes and all ages are into escaping through games.
Your spouse may love playing games, but you will never be at the same skill level and you only get frustrated when you play. In fact, your stomach cringes every time you are asked. How do you feel when you are playing? After you play? Resentful? Angry? The quality time you thought you were going to share just turned out to be only time spent; time you won’t get back. The resentful and unhappy feelings you have when you continue to do something you really don’t want to can build up over time and put distance between you and your spouse. Don’t be afraid to let go and free your spouse to do something they enjoy without you. Which leads us to the next thing to consider…
