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1. You’re Mean to the Cat

Confession: In the months before my ex and I landed in counseling, I was a bitch to our cat. I also yelled at moldy strawberries and chewed out telemarketers. It turns out displacement and unhappy marriages go together. “It’s safer to blame other people or situations than a spouse who, on the surface at least, seems unwilling to change,” explains Michele Weiner-Davis, marriage therapist and author of Divorce Busting. Anger isn’t the only sign: “Any change in you–eating more, sleeping less, crying lots, fatigue–can be a marital red flag, even if you’re not diagnosing your spouse as the problem.”

2. Your Heart Might Be Telling You Something–Literally

A new study suggests that whether your partner has your back may have serious consequences for your heart. Researchers at the University of Utah have found that people may have better cardiovascular health if they perceive their spouse to be supportive during times of need. Using a CT scanner to check for calcification in participants’ coronary arteries, researchers discovered that when both spouses viewed each other as ambivalent in their support, their calcification levels were highest. If even one spouse felt unequivocally cared for, those levels decreased significantly.

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